Its been real.
This is a little late, but so are most all things I manage. Plus, hopefully this post won’t get lost in all the other July 4th postings since its so late! Lol. If the goal was to make memories I would say we did exactly just that. The bestie, our men, and our 4 kiddies in tow (only one is mine-haha!) had a wonderful time in Cocoa Beach. We all stayed in one room. Which I’ll have to admit I had so much anxiety leading up to this mini-vaca. Since starting my chemo treatment I have more emotional ups & downs than ever. Plus, I never know how I’m going to feel from day to day. So you bet your sweet ass I brought my lorazapems along for this ride! Thankfully, I never had to use them. Our days were filled with pool, sun, beach, drinks and walks. Our other bestie and her two daughters joined us for the last two days. It was seriously more fun than some of our college escapades!
My breast cancer and all its non-glory came to surface only a few times. Breast cancer was not invited on this trip! That’s the beautiful thing about cancer.
Did I actually give it a good characteristic??
It can’t take away sweet memories. It can’t take away priceless and PRESENT moments. It may take away future moments and memories but, not the present. They are all ours to cherish and to shove in cancer’s face!
My BFF and I are all about making memories and that’s exactly what we did. At the end of any day, I always ask Gianna what her favorite part of her day was. If I where to ask myself the same question, the answer would be Friday night when we sat on the beach and watched the fireworks over the ocean. It was the sweetest moment for all of us. If I could capture it in a crystal ball I would so I can keep that memory forever. Instead, we’ll use this blog entry and the many pictures we (Mandy) took.
We came back a little happier, tanner and more appreciative of the simple things. Thank you Cocoa Beach for the great memories! xoxo
I’m catching up on my blog, so this is actually last weekend-the last weekend before starting chemo:
Hello to the weekend before I start my chemo (5/26/13). Why is it so significant? I have no idea. But I’ll be sure to let you know if it was such a big deal as I think it is. My Friday night was spent in Ybor with my cousins, followed by a weekend at the beach with the fam. My spirits are really good right now, so while this feeling is here- I’m going to take advantage of it.
Saturday comes and my spirits are high & positive. We are down in Siesta Key enjoying the sun, water & family time. Last night after everyone went to bed I really started thinking about the whole losing my hair process. I want to know what I will look like. I also worry about that moment when I first see myself in the mirror with no hair. What if I can’t even look at myself in the mirror? It makes me sad to think that for the next 6-9 months I will be hiding a big part of me-even from Justin & Gianna. I’ve read stories where some girls NEVER showed anyone their bald head. For someone who is an open book and very straightforward with those around me, hiding this seems so daunting & exhausting. I wanted to get a “sneak peak” into this new look that I will have, so I went online looking for an app or website that would show you what you look like bald. We found an app and Justin downloaded it, took my picture. My first thought was that I look like me with just no hair. Sounds pretty simple, right? But in the flesh may be a different story. I must say that it felt very normal and very comfortable playing around with this app. Anyhoo, I guess I’ll soon find out how accurate the picture was. This weekend was full of new memories and rainbows. Have I told you already what an amazing man I married? 🙂